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At the heart of the problem of online “infidelity” is the fact that it is usually done in secret and without the partner’s knowledge – even with infrequent access this secrecy can reduce the intimacy between the couple and can be a first step on the road to bigger betrayals.

A second issue for a marriage is that one partner turns to the internet for flirting and sexual excitement rather than to their partner.

It is important that you ask open ended questions because that'll keep the conversation going.

If you ask closed ended questions which has only a yes or no answer, it will not only make the conversation boring but it will also increase the possibility of ending the chat.

Recently, I discovered that my husband has been using adult chat rooms online and seems to have been communicating in sexually explicit ways with other people.

When I challenged him, he was embarrassed and then defensive saying it was just harmless flirting and that he had not gone over any line.

AWith people spending more and more time online, accessing pornography and adult websites can be a big problem in modern marriages.

Relationship counselling agencies report that a growing number of couples are now seeking help due to infidelity online or to one partner accessing adult websites.

To move forward, it is important that you continue to talk to your husband and try to understand the extent of his difficulties and what the underlying issues are for him.

There is a good chance of success for the two of you, if your husband accepts responsibility for what he has done and if the two of you are willing to work hard on improving your marriage.

Take some time out together You can also take action at home to improve your marriage on a daily basis.

It wouldn’t have been as bad if he was just accessing porn, as I know men do this, but the fact that he was talking to other people has really disgusted me.

I feel a bit betrayed and worry about whether I can trust him.

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Open ended questions will help you to get more response from the other party.